Photo Credit: Images_of_Money via Compfight cc

Photo Credit: Images_of_Money via Compfight cc

The following article caught my eye recently. We all know that an ad for house to rent or buy is a part of the sales campaign and the idea is to get us to inspect the property. It is fun though to remind ourselves about how creative this can be sometimes.

The article in The Age can be found here.

Real estate agents’ tricks now open for inspection

Real estate agents are notorious for talking up their properties in order make a sale. But now one has broken ranks by publishing the true meaning of their jargon.

“The property has excellent transport links”, for example, means “there’s a motorway or railway next to it”. Meanwhile, “a cosy rural property” is small and 20 minutes’ drive from the shops.

The translations come courtesy of eMoov.co.uk, a British online estate agent . Russell Quirk, the website’s founder, said it was time for agents “to be straight with home owners”.

Here are some of the lines used by real estate agents, and their translations:

Estate agent speak “The property has excellent transport links”

Translation “There’s a motorway and or busy railway line right next to it”

Estate agent speak “In need of modernisation”

Translation “This property hasn’t been updated since the 1970s and needs a complete refit”

Estate agent speak “An ideal purchase as your first three-bedroom home”

Translation “You can barely fit a bed into the third bedroom”

Estate agent speak “Set within a purpose-built residential development”

Translation “This property is in the middle of a large housing estate”

Estate agent speak “A cosy property in a rural location”

Translation “This property is small and the nearest shop is 20 minutes’ drive away”

Estate agent speak “Easy-to-maintain living space”

Translation “It’s really incredibly small”

Estate agent speak “Conveniently located”

Translation “Next door to a busy main road and above a take away”

Estate agent speak “Unexpectedly re-available”

Translation “The previous buyer pulled out at the last minute due to major problems or the surveyor revealed that the property was vastly overpriced”

Estate agent speak “Reduced”

Translation “Desperate”

Estate agent speak “Within easy reach of local schools”

Translation “Kids will congregate outside your house at lunchtime and drop litter all over your driveway.”

Estate agent speak “Ideal for the first-time buyer or as a buy-to-let investment”

Translation “The property’s small and in a terrible area”

Estate agent speak “Tremendous scope for improvement. A real blank canvas”

Translation “Derelict”

Estate agent speak “In need of some updating and offered with no onward chain”

Translation “An old lady has recently died in the house and it hasn’t been decorated since she originally moved in 50 years ago”

Estate agent speak “A garden flat”

Translation “A dark and most probably damp basement flat”

Estate agent speak “Bordering the sought-after area of North Clapham”

Translation “The property is actually in Stockwell”

Estate agent speak “The property has many character features”

Translation “The ceilings are extremely low”

Estate agent speak “Low maintenance rear garden”

Translation “The garden is concrete”

Estate agent speak “Situated in a stamp duty exempt area”

Translation “Situated in a deprived part of town”

Estate agent speak “New price!”

Translation “This property was massively overpriced in the first place”

Estate agent speak ” Character….”

Translation “Dilapidated”

Daily Telegraph, London

If you are planning to move to Tasmania, or live here already, and you would like some help with finding a home to rent or buy, then please get in touch. If you are not able to be in Tasmania for the search then we can inspect properties for you and tell you all the pros and cons and not just what makes it to the online listing.